Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
