Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
this will be a night to untag.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
