I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
