I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
