you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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