i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
