**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
