I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize