How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
