susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
