I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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