i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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