on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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