So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My vagina just clenched in fear
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
