you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
