All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize