Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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