if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
