I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude i'm inner monologue high
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
