eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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