i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
