i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
