Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
