my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
