So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
