nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I seem to have left my pride at pride
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
