Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
