And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
