i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize