8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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