how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
