I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize