Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
