gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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