Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
