I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize