i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
you never un-have a 4some
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
