Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
