p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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