google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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