C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
