Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize