Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
