I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
