I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
