Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I forget how to act sober
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
