Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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