hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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