she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
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