i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
