When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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