i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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