I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
