i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
