you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
