did you get engaged???
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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