1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
