would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
