This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
