Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
