You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
