You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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