Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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