Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Houston, we have a blender
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
