so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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