Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
