you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
