im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
