I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
