I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
