i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
