i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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