now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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